Losing someone you love is painful. There are many feelings and reactions that happen. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There are some healthy ways to cope with the pain. Grief is natural. It is the emotional suffering you feel after losing someone. No one grieves in the same way or the same time frame.
Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross stated in 1969, the main 5 stages of grief that a person goes through after the death of a loved one, a major illness diagnosis, or any other type of loss are:
- Denial: “This cannot be happening to me.”
- Anger: “Why is this happening to me?”
- Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will__________.”
- Depression: ” I am too sad to do anything.”
- Acceptance: “I am at peace with what happened.”
It is normal to have some or all these emotions during the grief and loss process. This process also happens if you lose someone (not to death) in relationships, connections to addictions, and separation from loved one in the penal system.
You do not have to go through all of the stages to be “the right way”. Some people will resolve their grief without going through any of the above stages. According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in 2004, is individual. Some people experience symptoms of grief that may include:
- Physical symptoms
- Shock and disbelief
10 tips to cope
- Find support after a loss.
- Take care of your physical health.
- Turn to friends and family members for support.
- Get comfort from your own faith.
- Join a support group.
- Express your feelings in keeping a journal, artwork, or even starting a blog about the exprience or your feelings.
- Seek professional help in the form of a therapist.
- Don’t let anyone else tell you how you should feel or grief, or explain away your sadness.
- Face your own feelings of grief or loss.
- Plan ahead for events or dates that may trigger onset of sadness, (anniversary, birthday, or holiday events). Find support ahead of the event, surround your self with understanding people.